About Corn Cob Club
A support group for people who insist they are not owned when they are clearly, demonstrably owned.
What Is This?
Corn Cob Club is a recovery resource for people who have been owned online. Based on the immortal dril tweet:
"im not owned! im not owned!!", i continue to insist as i slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob
— @dril
If you've ever:
- Posted something you immediately regretted
- Gotten ratioed into oblivion
- Doubled down when you should have logged off
- Become the main character (derogatory)
- Insisted you were "not owned" while clearly being owned
...then you're in the right place.
What We Offer
Self-Assessment
Scientific* quizzes to measure your corn cob severity level.
*not actually scientificRecovery Resources
Evidence-based** articles on healing and moving forward.
**vibes-basedPrevention Tips
Stop yourself before you wreck yourself.
results may varyReal Stories
Recovery testimonials from people who survived.
names changed to protect dignityIs This Serious?
No. But also yes.
The content is satirical. The advice is mostly sound. The problem is very real. Thousands of people get owned online every day. Some recover. Some double down. Some transform into corn cobs.
We're here to help you not become a vegetable.
Disclaimer
This is a parody website for entertainment purposes. We are not real therapists, psychologists, or medical professionals. If you're experiencing actual distress, please seek help from qualified mental health professionals.
That said, the advice to log off and touch grass is genuinely good advice.