Prevention Tips
The best way to recover from getting owned is to simply not get owned. Here's how.
No Posting After 10 PM
Set a curfew. Nothing good happens after dark.
Never Post When Mad
Write it in Notes. Re-read tomorrow. Delete.
Wait 10 Minutes
Spicy take? Cool. Wait. Still want to post? Wait again.
Get a Second Opinion
Send it to a friend first. If they cringe, abort.
Prevention Tips & Tricks
I'm begging you. Let them be wrong. You think you're going to change their mind with your sick reply? You're not. You're going to end up in a 47-tweet thread explaining basic concepts to someone whose bio is just emojis. Save yourself.
No. It's not. I promise you it's not as clever as you think. Here's a test: Would you say this to your boss? To your parents? At a wedding? If the answer is no to any of these, it belongs in the drafts folder where it can die peacefully.
You don't. There is no winning. Stop. Close the app. Walk away. Everyone watching thinks you both look ridiculous. You're not "standing your ground," you're just letting a stranger ruin your day for free. Log off.
Absolutely not. Happy, sad, horny, hungry - doesn't matter. All emotion is bad posting. Return to your boring baseline self first. That's not you talking, that's the serotonin/cortisol/whatever. Give it 2 hours minimum.
It's not. You're not "adding to the conversation," you're just being a hater. We can all see what you're doing. Send it to the group chat where it belongs. Let your friends tell you it's mean. Then, and this is critical: don't post it anyway.
We know who you're talking about. They know who you're talking about. Their friends are screenshotting it right now. You're not being subtle, you're being a coward. Either @ them or delete the draft.
It's not. I'm sorry but it's not. Your irony poisoned brain thinks this is hilarious. Normal people will think you're serious. You'll spend the next 6 hours going "IT WAS OBVIOUSLY A JOKE" while people block you. Test it on a friend who isn't chronically online.
No??? You're literally just being a bully for internet points. "But they deserve it!" Maybe! Still makes you a bully! And for what, 83 likes? Next week it'll be YOU getting piled on and you'll cry about how the internet is so mean. Break the cycle.
STOP. DO NOT PASS GO. The clarification will make it worse. Then you'll need to clarify the clarification. Then you'll post "this is my last tweet on this" and immediately tweet again. We've all seen this movie. Just take the L and move on.
You really don't though. That rage you're feeling? That's the algorithm working exactly as designed. You're being played. Close the app. Touch grass. Come back in 3 hours when you've calmed down and realize how dumb that draft was.