I Moderated 47 Subreddits and It Ruined My Life

I was a Reddit moderator. Not just any moderator. A power mod. I moderated 47 subreddits with a combined subscriber count of 12 million people.

I thought I was doing important work. I was not doing important work.

How It Started

2019. I became a mod of a small subreddit about mechanical keyboards. Seemed fun. I liked keyboards. I liked rules. Perfect fit.

Within six months I was modding five subreddits. Then fifteen. Then I stopped counting.

The power was intoxicating. I could sticky posts. I could remove comments. I could ban people. ME. Banning people. For free. On a website. It felt like something.

The Peak

By 2023 I was modding 47 subreddits. I had a spreadsheet. Color-coded. I spent 6-8 hours a day on mod duties. I called it “volunteer community management.” My therapist called it something else.

I developed a reputation. Fair but firm, I told myself. “Unhinged hall monitor energy,” the users said.

I had a signature move: the 30-day temp ban with a condescending modmail explanation. “Perhaps take this time to review our community guidelines.” I thought I was educating people. I was just being insufferable.

The Breaking Point

A user in one of my bigger subreddits posted something that technically violated Rule 7b (no screenshots with visible usernames from other platforms). The violation was minor. The post was popular. 14K upvotes.

I removed it. Left a comment explaining why.

The user pushed back. Politely. Asked if an exception could be made given the context.

Reader, I did not make an exception. I wrote a 400-word response about the importance of consistent rule enforcement and the slippery slope of moderator discretion. I used the phrase “rules exist for a reason” three times.

They screenshot my response and posted it to r/SubredditDrama.

The Fallout

The post went nuclear. 8,000 comments. Everyone had an opinion about me. None of the opinions were good.

Someone compiled a greatest hits of my moderation history. Every condescending modmail. Every power-trippy removal reason. Every time I’d said “I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them” (I did, in fact, make several of the rules).

The phrase “Reddit moderator moment” became a thing. In reference to me specifically.

Other mods from my subreddits started stepping down. “Don’t want to be associated with this,” they said. My mod teams were jumping ship.

Then the admins got involved. Not to defend me. To “review moderator conduct across multiple communities.” Three of my subreddits got new mod teams. I was politely asked to step back.

Rock Bottom

I found myself arguing with a 16-year-old about subreddit jurisdiction at 2 AM on a Tuesday. He was right. I was wrong. I banned him anyway.

Sat there in the glow of my monitor, mass-replying to modmail, and thought: what am I doing with my life?

I had mass. I had power. I had 47 subreddits. I had no friends, no hobbies outside Reddit, and a Twitch stream with 3 average viewers (also about Reddit moderation).

I was the corn cob. I had been the corn cob for years.

The Recovery

Stepped down from all 47 subreddits. Cold turkey. Hardest thing I’ve ever done.

The first week I kept opening Reddit to check modmail. Force of habit. The dopamine of the orange envelope. The thrill of someone needing my judgment.

Took the quiz here. Got a 4. “Severely Cobbed.” Felt seen in an uncomfortable way.

Started going outside. Touched grass (literally, this website’s advice works). Picked up hobbies that don’t involve enforcing rules on strangers. I’m learning to make bread now. The yeast doesn’t talk back.

Three Months Later

I still use Reddit. But just as a user now. It’s weird being on the other side. Someone removed my post the other day for a minor rule violation. I almost reflexively pulled up my “do you know who I am” speech.

Caught myself. Took a breath. Moved on. Growth.

What I Learned

• Moderating 47 subreddits is not a flex, it’s a cry for help
• “Rules exist for a reason” - the reason is sometimes that a sad person made them
• Power without accountability is just being annoying for free
• Nobody needs a 400-word explanation for why their meme got removed
• The orange modmail envelope is not a healthy source of dopamine
• If you’re arguing with teenagers about forum rules at 2 AM, you’ve lost
• Bread is more fulfilling than banning people

Current Status

Subreddits currently moderating: 0

Days since last power trip: 94

Sourdough starters named: 2 (Maurice and The Yeast Wing)

Recovery status: Ongoing. One day at a time.