The Day I Argued About Submarines With an Actual Submarine Expert

Should’ve read the username. Didn’t read the username.

The Setup

Saw a post on r/AskReddit about submarines. Someone said something slightly wrong about submarine depth ratings. I have watched several YouTube videos about submarines, so naturally, I was an expert.

Wrote a detailed comment correcting them. Included phrases like “actually” and “if you knew anything about.” Real condescending energy. Felt good to educate the masses.

The Problem

They replied. Their username? SubmarineCommander_USN.

Their flair? “Served on USS Connecticut 2004-2015.”

Their comment? A polite, detailed explanation of why I was completely wrong, with actual citations and personal anecdotes from inside a real submarine.

My Response (The Mistake)

Did I admit I was wrong? Delete my comment? Apologize?

No. I doubled down. Posted an even LONGER comment with more YouTube sources. Called his credentials into question. Suggested he might be lying about being in the Navy.

The Escalation

Other Redditors started chiming in. Every single one was on his side. Someone looked up his post history - he’d been posting detailed submarine content for 7 years. Very committed to the bit if he was lying.

Someone else found MY post history. Pointed out I’d argued about submarines, astrophysics, medieval history, and car engines in the past week alone. Called me a “serial expert.”

The upvotes told the story. His comments: hundreds of upvotes. My comments: downvoted into oblivion. The little controversial cross appeared next to my username.

Rock Bottom

Woke up to 200+ notifications. The thread had hit r/bestof: “Redditor argues with actual submarine commander about submarines.”

12K upvotes. Awards everywhere. None of them on my comments.

Top reply to my comment: “This is the most Reddit thing I’ve seen all week.”

Someone made a copypasta out of my comment. It spread to other subreddits. I became the example of “when keeping it real goes wrong.”

Recovery

Logged out of Reddit. Touched grass (the Corn Cob Club recommendation actually works). Took the quiz - got a 3 (Moderately Cobbed).

Realized I had a problem. I didn’t actually care about submarines. I just liked being right on the internet. Or appearing right. Even when I was demonstrably wrong.

Six Weeks Later

I still use Reddit. But I’ve made changes:

• If someone has relevant credentials in their username, I believe them
• If I learned something from YouTube, I’m probably not an expert
• “Actually” is a warning sign I’m about to do something stupid
• Sometimes it’s okay to just… not reply
• Nobody needs me to correct minor errors in random threads

Still cringe when I think about it. But I’m healing.

Lessons

• YouTube videos ≠ actual expertise
• Read the username
• Seriously, read the username
• If someone who does the thing for a living corrects you, they’re probably right
• The urge to be right is not the same as actually being right
• Sometimes the best comment is no comment

Current status: 42 days since last confidently incorrect post. Making progress.